After the Holiday Diet
======================

Mrs. Watson was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her
on a diet."I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then
skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks.

The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."
When Mrs. Lee returned, she shocked the doctor by losing
nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said,
"Did you follow my instructions?" Mrs. Watson nodded.

"I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that
3rd day." "From hunger, you mean?"

"No, from skipping."

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IT'S ALL IN THE PUNCTUATION
============================

A English professor wrote the sentence
"Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and
directed her students to correct it.

The guys wrote "Woman, without her man, is nothing."

The girls wrote "Woman!  Without her, man is nothing!"

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LEGAL ADVICE
================
A man goes to see a lawyer and asks him how much he
would charge to answer just  three simple questions.

The lawyer replies, "$500"

"$500 ?  Isn't that pretty steep ?,"
says the man.

"Not really," retorts the lawyer obviously annoyed,
"Now what is your third question?"

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