Some random thoughts to Brighten your Day:



1) Do cemetary workers prefer the graveyard shift? 	

2) Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

3) Can you be a closet claustrophobic?	

4) If a train station is where the train stops, then what is a work station?

5) If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the 
pan?	

6) If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain 
silent?

7) If you throw a cat out the car window, does it become kitty litter? 	

8) What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

9) If Barbie is so popular, why do you  have to buy her friends?

10) Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

11) Why do they put Braille on drive through ATMs?	 

12) What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

13) If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

14) In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

15) Did Washington flash a quarter when asked for ID?

16) How do "Do not walk on the grass" signs get there?

17) How is it possible to have a civil war?

18) Why do black olives come in cans, and green olives come in jars?

19) If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

20) If the #2 pencil is so popular, then why is it still #2?	 

21) If I melt dry ice, could I take a bath without getting wet?

22) How do they get deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

23) How do you throw away a garbage can?

24) How does a thermos know if the drink should be hot or cold?

25) If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

26) If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you 
turn on the headlights?

27) If Superman is so smart, then why does he wear his underpants outside his 
suit?

28) What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?

29) Why do hot dogs come 10 in a package, and hot dog buns come in only 8?

30) Why do tourists go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in the 
telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?
31) Why is it that night falls, but day breaks?

32) Why must you wait till nighttime to call it a day?

33) When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why 
you're just sitting there staring at carpeting?