SIGNS THAT YOUR LIFESTYLE IS UNHEALTHY ________________________________________ - You go to give blood and two gallons of pure lard come out. - You get winded from exercising your right to vote. - When you go to McDonald's, they give you your usual table. - The roaches in your apartment go on rent strike until you fix the rat problem. - The VD clinic has you on a Buy One Get One Free program. - When your teeth are so yellow, you can't tell where they end and the mashed corn begins. - Your blood type is "Smirnoff." - Your speed dial includes The Mayo Clinic, the Betty Ford Center, and the Psychic Friends Network. - 911 has you on their speed dial.